My love affair with the weight room began six months after I was released from partial inpatient treatment for my eating disorder. My doctors granted me permission to return to the gym, but advised me to avoid cardio machines that may cause weight loss and trigger a relapse. I followed my doctors’ orders and asked my brother how to begin weight lifting.
Fast-forward two years later to
today. I can leg-press 820 pounds, do squats with a 210 pound fraternity guy on
my back (don’t ask) and I am the most confident in my body I have ever been.
Despite my passion for lifting heavy shit, the weight room has not always been
such a happy place for me. When I first began lifting, I constantly felt
judged, watched, objectified, and less than everyone else. I would compare
myself to men lifting twice as much as me, and women with what I thought to be
the “perfect body”. So how did I develop self-confidence and an IDGAF attitude
in the weight room? It was a long process.
Over time, I had to learn everyone is at a
different point in their journey. Because of this, comparing yourself to others
is absolutely pointless. Also, as cliché as this sounds, all bodies are
different. I have weak af ankles because of anterior tendinitis and sometimes
squats hurt like a bitch. It is possible to accept your flaws while still
working to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be.
Something I had to learn is working
out for the right reasons is crucial. When I spent all of my time on the
treadmill trying to lose weight, I was miserable. I hate running and probably
always will. I only did it to improve my physical appearance and self-esteem
(side note: that shit didn’t work). But now, I have found workouts, both cardio
and strength-training, that I love! People always seem to be confused as to why
I work out if I am happy with my body. I do not work out because I hate my
body; I work out because I love my body. I love my body so much that I want to
treat it right. I want to fuel it with nutritious food and make it sweat daily.
On a similar note, the human body
is an amazing thing, and it is so cool to get to know your own body. Lifting
has taught me so much about myself. First and foremost, I am SO much stronger
than I thought; both mentally and physically. My body can do amazing things
that I never thought possible. Who the hell thought a 5’0 girl could lift 820
pounds with her short ass legs? I didn’t that’s for sure. So with that being
said, why the hell should I hate this amazing body I’ve been given? Once I
began thinking this way, my whole perspective on my body changed. Just ask my
roommate; there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t spend five minutes
looking in the mirror appreciating my butt. However, this goes much further
than aesthetics. I have pushed myself mentally to levels I never imagined
possible. My perseverance and dedication is endless, and when I put my mind to
something, there is no way I cannot accomplish it.
What has your passion taught you? Leave a comment or tweet
me @allieetzin!
xoxo,
Allie
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